Anyone who's seen a special effects-generated dinosaur before, yell "Ho!" That's about all of you. So, why in the world should anyone give a damn how big Godzilla is -- or what he looks like after Steven Spielberg was kind enough to desensitize us several years ago? The same lack-of-awe and senseless marketing hype can be equated with the Godzilla soundtrack, which hits stores today, and features blue-chip artists like the Wallflowers, Green Day, Rage Against the Machine, Jamiroquai and the insufferable combination of Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page.

Yesterday, New York's Planet Hollywood was the epicenter of Godzilla's wrath -- at least until the film premiere later that evening -- as Puff, Page and Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay and keyboardist Toby Smith answered inane questions about their respective contributions to Godzilla: The Album.

After an Epic Records publicist opened the floor up for questions, ten seconds of silence fell on the packed room. What is there to ask? Oh, here's a good one.

"If you were Godzilla, what would be the first thing you'd 'take out'?," offered one reporter.

"My mother-in-law," chuckled Kay.

"I would probably do Times Square because of the colors and lights," countered Puff Daddy. "It would probably irritate me if I was Godzilla, all the tourists running around."

"Yeah, I'd take the tourists," laughed Kay, a tourist himself.

Next question.

"Puffy, what famous person in history would you like to portray?"

"I never thought about that," he answered. "I'll think about that and give you a call."

Next.

"Jay, how important are soundtracks?"

""Well, they're important 'cause nobody knows who we are," he answered with acackle. Especially when you're not wearing your big floppy hat.

And so it went for more than a half-hour. A room full of reporters with nothing of value to ask and video crews and photographers from all over the world documenting the whole thing.

The event's longest answer came from Puff Daddy, in response to a question about what his collaboration with Page, "Come With Me," was about. "The song is just, um, the moment of anger, like if you have me talking to an enemy ... like, if Godzilla could talk ... Godzilla never gets the chance to speak, he never gets the chance to verbalize. He's just trying to survive and, it's an emotional letter crying out to an enemy, somebody that is your adversary. It goes through its ups and downs and by the end, after, you know, Godzilla has pleaded with the enemy, by the verse he's like, 'ya know, if you want to be on like that, then it can be on like that. So, let's get it on.'"

Can we go home now?

BLAIR R. FISCHER