Open with "I'm Too Sexy," close with "I'm Too Sexy" and play it once or twice in the middle. What else could Right Said Fred perform during their reunion gig on Saturday night during the South by Southwest music festival? Put a gun to their manager's head and even he'd have a difficult time remembering another song the trio performed before it became a collective punchline among fickle music fans.

"Some of the songs you'll know," brawny frontman Richard Fairbrass offered before the first song (which wasn't "I'm Too Sexy"). "One song you'll definitely know." Sort of. The stripped-down, drummer-less version of their one and only U.S. hit, the novelty "I'm Too Sexy," was more Plain Jane than sexy. Replacing the whole "I'm a model/Ya know what I mean..." refrain with the less goofy "Too sexy/Too too sexy/Too sexy/Too too sexy/Come on," and often changing the narrative from the droll first person to a nondescript second, Right Said Fred failed to orchestrate the sing-along the capacity crowd (you heard right) expected.

Other semi-acoustic songs Right Said Fred played were of the adolescent variety. A new song, the openly bisexual "Girls and Boys" was backboned by the cloying chorus "I like girls and I like boys/I like girls and boys." With periodic shouts of "Sexy" between every musical pause, Richard, outfitted in a fishnet top, provided sly smirks and gripped his bald head in his "sexiest" pose. His equally bald brother, Fred, on the other hand, couldn't have appeared more intense, staring in the void throughout, as he provided background vocals and strummed an acoustic guitar.

After hitting the stage twenty minutes late (most SXSW acts were relatively prompt), RSF were only on stage for twenty minutes. Still, that was plenty, and a nice affirmation that we were right, said everyone, to make them go away.

BLAIR R. FISCHER
(March 22, 1999)