Twenty-five live albums, fifty-plus hours of music, twenty-five "Corduroy"s — this is the task Pearl Jam have placed at their fans' feet. By recording and releasing their 2000 European tour as twenty-five double CDs (exempting, of course, the tragic Roskilde, Denmark, show), the mighty band is drawing up a new blueprint for marketing live music, and beating bootleggers at their own game.

While most live albums are gleaned from the best takes of entire tours and spliced together, for Pearl Jam every show must stand alone. Live Without a Net, indeed. But how are Pearl Jam fans supposed to know which musical European journeys beckon them — or, in extreme cases, which of their twenty-five new albums they need to play first?

To answer both of the above questions, we formed our own crack Ten club and immersed ourselves in five albums each. Through our scientific, sonic study we strove to distinguish each album by pointing out its high points ("Pearls"), low points ("Grievances"), memorable quotes by one Eddie Vedder ("Off Eddie goes") and crowd participation moments ("Crowd participation moment"). As a special bonus, we also answered the query no doubt on every Pearl Jam fan's mind: "Ur, how's the 'Even Flow'"? We even ranked them in order, from best (Hamburg still knows how to rock) to worst (not much Jamily love to go around in Landgraaf, Holland).

Bon voyage!

Code: 1
Date: 05/23/00
Venue: Estadio Do Restelo, Lisbon, Portugal
Tracks: 28
Running time:140:19
Set list: Of the Girl, Do the Evolution, Animal, Red Mosquito, Corduroy, Grievance, Light Years, Nothing As It Seems, Given to Fly, Even Flow, Faithful, Untitled, Last Kiss, MFC, Breakerfall, Wishlist, Thin Air, Daughter, Evacuation, Immortality, Betterman, Black, Go, Last Exit, Jeremy, Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter
Pearls: No Jeff Ament album packaging; the crowd clapping in place of the Matt Cameron's disabled drums for a verse and chorus of "Last Kiss"; "Red Mosquito" captures all that PJ do right — shifting tempos, with guitars and vox kept in check.
Grievances: Vedder's surf chat before "Light Years"; "Do the Evolution" captures everything that PJ do wrong — a turgid nightmare full of too many guitars; are "Given to Fly" and "Wishlist" the same song? The crowd seems to know the words to the latter.
Off Eddie goes: "Matt Cameron, this is Portugal. Portugal, meet Matt Cameron."
Crowd participation moment: Batshit screams that greet "Even Flow."
"Even Flow": Screams pay off.
Rank: 6

Code: 2
Date: 05/25/00
Venue: Palau Sant Jordi, Barcelona, Spain
Tracks: 25
Running time: 126:13
Set list: Long Road, Breakerfall, Corduroy, Hail Hail, Animal, Even Flow, Nothing As It Seems, Light Years, Given to Fly, Insignificance, Daughter, Rearviewmirror, I Got Shit, Thin Air, Black, Betterman, Do the Evolution, Alive, Grievance, State of Love and Trust, Wishlist, Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town, Go, Last Kiss, Yellow Ledbetter
Pearls: Leads off with a stately version of "Long Road" from the Dead Man Walking soundtrack, then pounds into a brutal "Breakerfall"; kick ass, enthusiastic crowd keeps boys on their toes and pushes them over the edge, particularly on "Corduroy"; pick a rocker, and PJ crank it to 11 for the Spaniards.
Grievances: Meandering noodle through "Daughter"; Eddie apologizes for a minor flub during "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town," explaining that "right in the middle I had the mike on my mouth, and I realized that from the opening band [the Vandals], that this microphone was on that fucking guy's penis and his ass... I got a little distracted."
Off Eddie goes: Offers up the theory that had Spanish architect Antonio Gaudi been a musician, he would have been the original Jimi Hendrix. "So Jimi's from Seattle, but you had Gaudi, so I think you were first actually — you had the first Hendrix."
Crowd participation moment: Barcelona knows how to rock, as evidenced early on when the crowd greets the intro to "Corduroy" with a thrilling football-style chant, and tries to sing along to "Daughter" and "Small Town."
"Even Flow": Like every other rocker on tap here, exceptionally inspired. Imagine grunge is young and still full of untapped promise, and you're hearing this warhorse for the first time. It's kinda like that.
Rank: 3

Code: 3
Date: 05/26/00
Venue: Velodromo Anoeta, San Sebastian, Spain
Tracks: 25
Running time: 129:25
Set list: Release, Given to Fly, Do the Evolution, Corduroy, Insignificance, Of the Girl, Jeremy, Light Years, Nothing As It Seems, Even Flow, Faithful, Daughter, Breakerfall, Rearviewmirror, Betterman, Go, Last Exit, Hail Hail, Immortality, State of Love and Trust, Alive, Whipping, Last Kiss, Smile, Yellow Ledbetter
Pearls: Eddie's growl-to-falsetto croon on "Release" ("release me — ee — hey — ooh — aye — aye — aye — woah-eee"); the segue into Tom Waits' "Hold On" and the Doors' "Love Me Two Times" during "Daughter"; a scorching "Whipping" into a syrupy "Last Kiss" makes for a nifty juxtaposition of extremes.
Grievances: "Alive" dissolves into a parody of a stoner high school band, prompting Eddie to apologize; is that a drunken Cher singing "Do the Evolution"?; and, yes, Jeremy's spoken.
Off Eddie goes: "Hola!" "We got a little bit of a surf in today... it's been interesting singing tonight 'cause I got so much salt water up my fuckin' head."
Crowd participation moment: Soccer chants of "Ole, ole, ole, ole" fill the stadium before encore. Eddie joins in for an extended sing-and-clap-along.
"Even Flow": Mike and Stone's guitars are tepid at best, bleating sheep at worst. Eddie's vocals are garbled and passionless. Must be all that salt water.
Rank: 24

Code: 4
Date: 05/29/00
Venue: Wembley Arena, London, England
Tracks: 26
Running time: 123:39
Set list Of the Girl, Breakerfall, Grievance, Gods' Dice, Light Years, Corduroy, Animal, Given to Fly, Even Flow, Nothing As It Seems, Daughter, Faithful, MFC, Wishlist, Do the Evolution, Black, Alive, Timeless Melody, Insignificance, Rearviewmirror, Betterman, I Got Shit, Go, Soon Forget, Soldier of Love, Yellow Ledbetter
Pearls: "I Got Shit" requested by an unnamed girl at a bar the night before; Pearl Jam's only song with a ukulele, "Soon Forget," — Eddie laughs, flubs lyrics and stumbles through chord changes on what Matt Cameron called a "grunge-ulele" all the while the crowd cheering him on. A great set from Yield: "Faithful," "MFC," "Wishlist," and "Do the Evolution."
Grievances: Somehow PJ's only false notes seem to come playing some of their biggest hits, often their earlier material. Tonight, "Betterman" sounds like it could have been a PJ cover band — you could almost see this version ending up in a Priceline commercial.
Off Eddie goes: "When I was a kid... it seemed like there was heaven and then somewhere above that there was London where all the gods came from like Zeus, Artemis, Aphrodite and Paul and Ringo and Keith and Mick and Keith and Roger and John and Keith."
Crowd participation moment: "Black" — the crowd is in this one from the first "Heeeeeyyyyyyohhhh" and keep going even after the band has stopped playing and Eddie's stopped singing.
"Even Flow": Eddie gives the Reader's Digest version of the story behind "Even Flow — "Here's one called 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Your Grievances."
Rank: 9

Code: 5
Date: 05/30/00
Venue: Wembley Arena, London, England
Tracks: 25
Running time: 120:21
Set list: Sometimes, Grievance, Corduroy, Hail Hail, Animal, Dissident, Nothing As It Seems, In Hiding, Even Flow, Thin Air, Habit, Untitled, MFC, Off He Goes, Daughter, Not For You, State of Love and Trust, Immortality, Rearviewmirror, Light Years, Do the Evolution, Last Exit, Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town, Black, Alive
Pearls: "Animal" snarls with conviction, "State of Love and Trust" is tight and right, and "Immortality" achieves an almost "Stairway to Heaven"-esque grandeur.
Grievances: The band's on, but there's serious lack of personality at this show. Eddie doesn't have much to say and the set list is predictable.
Off Eddie goes: Affects pseudo English accent to declare, "We shan't be leaving London just yet." Bonus Tommy reference: "I'll never forget tonight, because like Sally Simpson I'm going to have a scar to remember it, because Mike McCready fucking hit me with his guitar tonight, the fucking little prick. Bastard!"
Crowd participation moment: One guy screams for "Brain of J," but has to make due with "Elderly Woman..."
"Even Flow": Not bad at all — feisty and almost fresh; Eddie dedicates it to Tony Price, guitarist for opening band Monkeywrench.
Rank: 18