Since we've never found chickens to be all that cuddly -- the beaks tend to get in the way, y'know -- we've never really thought all that much about saving millions of the things from the clutches of the Colonel. Paula Cole, however, is far more plucky when it comes to our poultrified pals: She went to Kentucky Fried Chicken's annual shareholders' meeting on Thursday -- skipping the luncheon, we'll presume -- and delivered a passionate plea to save some chicks from being converted into three-piece snack boxes. |

Noting that some McDonald's locations now offer veggie burgers, Cole delivered a letter suggesting the introduction of "soy-based chicken-friendly nuggets." "As a vegetarian, I hope KFC will consider adding some meat-free fare to its menu." Heck, we thought they already had -- ever hear of Cole slaw, Paula? . . .

Since Courtney Love managed to convince Hollywood that she's a serious actress, we knew it was just a matter of time before the other shoe dropped -- and drop it did this past week when Billy Ray Cyrus announced that he's just snapped up his first starring role on the silver screen. The Monarch of Mullets will play the title character -- a retired CIA gunrunner who narrowly sidesteps the loony bin -- in Radical Jack, which begins filming in New England next month. That's not the last of Cyrus' multiplex exploits for the season: In a role that should be far less of a stretch, the cartoonish crooner will unite with some kindred spirits when he sings the theme song for a big-screen version of Scooby Doo . . .

What was that stuff about no future, grandpa? The Punk Rock Hall of Fame -- an oxymoron if we've ever heard one -- will hold its awards ceremony on June 5 in Los Angeles, giving scores of middle-aged mooks the chance to shape those comb-overs into Mohawks one more time. The evening will feature performances by folks such as X, the Go-Go's, the Adolescents, the Bags, Black Flag (with original vocalist Keith Morris), the Circle Jerks and the Weirdos. Black tie is optional, of course, but black eyes are preferred . . .

Now that Billy Joel has officially retired from pop music -- until that inevitable comeback tour, that is -- he's finally found the time to clean out the garage and get rid of a few of those treasures only a true superstar can accumulate. Naturally enough, a handful of the Piano Man's castoffs have found their way into the world of the celebrity auction, where -- for a good cause, of course -- you can buy a bit of Billy's trash for your very own. Items included in the bidfest range from the ridiculous (a harmonica guaranteed to contain Joel's salivary residue, going for a mere $400) to the sublime (the box from his portable Stairmaster, just two hundred smackers). We scoured and scoured, but could find no mention of gently used silver-lame skinny neckties. Guess he wanted to hang onto those in case they ever come back in style . . .

From our "isn't it ironic?" department: The mansion that was home to Janis Joplin during her time in San Francisco ('67 - '68) has been converted from a private dwelling into a drug rehabilitation center. Golden Gate Community Inc. spent more than $350,000 in order to renovate the house in the once-notorious Haight-Ashbury district, where Joplin's drug-'n'-booze exploits made her a legend . . .

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ... sorta. Coolio's rope-a-dope with the California legal system extended another round this week, as the Grammy-winning rapper, a.k.a. Artis Leon Ivey, Jr., entered a plea of innocent to concealed handgun charges. The lengthy legal proceeding found the crafty rapper pleading innocent in February, followed by a no-contest plea in March. The no-contest plea was withdrawn last month and Wednesday, May 19, before Superior Court Judge Andrew Kauffman, Coolio again entered an innocent plea. The charges stem from a September incident in which a Lawndale, Calif., sheriff's deputy pulled the rapper over for driving on the wrong side of the road. When asked if he had a firearm, Coolio surrendered it to police. Coolio has a prior conviction from 1994 for carrying a concealed weapon . . .

The circus surrounding the death of country queen Tammy Wynette has finally been put to rest. Almost. After a recent exhumation and autopsy of the singer, Davidson County medical examiner, Bruce Levy, M.D., determined heart failure to be the cause of Wynette's death last year. Wynette's Tennessee flat-top box was cracked open five weeks ago, after four of her five daughters launched a $50 million wrongful death suit against her private physician, Wallis Marsh, M.D., and her husband, George Richey. Richey was dropped from the suit earlier this month, but it still stands against Marsh, whom the daughters accuse of treating their mother with excessive narcotics. In a statement Wednesday, May 19, Levy said he found "significant evidence of previous blood clots" which led to a "fatal arrhythmia." Levy said traces of the sedatives Versed and Phenergan were found in Wynette's blood, though he claimed "it is virtually impossible to determine . . . to what extent, if any, these drugs contributed to her heart failure and death." . . .

The RollingStone.com Staff(May 21, 1999)