Given his long track record as a standard bearer for feminism, we're glad to see Gene Simmons step up on his soapbox to lambaste the Muslim world for "treating women worse than dogs." The Kiss bassist, who's no doubt treated some of his 4,500 or so female bed partners to a bit of doggy-style activity, took the time to treat Australian radio listeners to his opinions on world affairs, culminating with his notion that Islam is "a vile culture" made up of people who want to move from "the sands of God's armpit" and "live right where you live." Presumably, they'll then work their way up to stealing your wigs and unbalancing your checkbook, eh? . . .

Given the fact that the Boston Red Sox lagged a full decade behind the rest of the world when it came to integration, we're not all that surprised to find some folks in another Massachusetts town chafing at the notion of equal representation. Several members of Worcester's board of education unsuccessfully objected to the inclusion of Tupac Shakur's The Rose That Grew From Concrete on a summer school reading list. A member of the board fretted to the Boston Herald that "I wonder if we're putting the Good Housekeeping seal of approval on Tupac." Frankly, we're a bit more concerned about the fact that Worcester's schools are also encouraging students to think of Jewel as an actual poet . . .

Since we're usually willing to stretch the meaning of a phrase to the breaking point, we'd describe recent events in Florida as a true meeting of the minds. Having successfully protected America's citizens from inaugurating the president they elected four years back, Governor Jeb Bush has taken a crack at the next most pressing problem in his universe -- doing battle with Billy Tourtelot, ringmaster of metal sideshow Hell on Earth. The littlest Bush put his stamp on a bill making it illegal to use suicide as a means of entertainment, as Tourtelot and company announced they'd planned to do last year. We're hoping the bill extends to a ban on career suicide as well, thus putting the kibosh on anyone's plan to collaborate with Kelly Osbourne in the future . . .

Speaking of which, 'N Sync member Chris Kirkpatrick -- known to the group's fans as "the invisible one" -- is apparently getting in touch with his inner patchouli lover. The thirtysomething boy-bander is recruiting a new set of collaborators in his seemingly endless quest to get a solo album together at some point. Kirkpatrick will try his luck working with Jimmie Haha, the majordomo of hippie-riffic rockers Jimmie's Chicken Shack. While we've often thought that "Bye Bye Bye" would have benefited from a six-minute guitar solo, we're pretty convinced that Kirkpatrick is more interested in guaranteeing a steady supply of recreational smokables than actually getting down to jam.