From the Archives

Revenge of the N.E.R.D.

Pharrell Williams relishes the important things: hummer songs

Grub SmithPosted Mar 25, 2003 12:00 AM

Pharrell Williams is flying into trouble. It's not coming from fog or crosswinds or ice on the runway of London's Heathrow Airport but from an altogether more hazardous source: the British tabloids. They've just got hold of a rumor that links him with Jade Jagger, the dark-eyed daughter of Mick and Bianca. The press claims there's been "a romantic tryst." In a hotel. In Sweden. One thing is certain: Williams, the twenty-nine-year-old singer for N.E.R.D. -- No-one Ever Really Dies -- provokes genuine excitement among members of the opposite sex. It's easy to see why. He's built slim, tattooed, and he possesses a natural, no-effort style. (Just as fashion models can look good in anything, so Williams can pull off a high-peaked, mesh-sided, bright-yellow baseball cap, a garment so hideous that even Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard would reject it on grounds of taste. And Williams wears it sideways.)

N.E.R.D.'s tour manager, Phillip Leeds, agrees that "when it comes to women, Williams is operating on a different level to the rest of us," but he's also quick to scotch the rumors linking him to Jagger: "A lot of celebrities go to his hotel room, but it doesn't mean they're fucking."

For the record, the tabloids have also paired him up with Britney Spears, Beyonc? Knowles and Kelis, but Williams doesn't seem too worried. "The truth is," he says, "I want someone who's spent more time on college than on her face, so I can have my kids and be the Chevy Chase dad."

Turning into Clark Griswold might seem an odd ambition for a guy whose producing credits include "Fuck All Night" and "Cocaine Business," but there's actually a conservative streak in Williams. He was brought up in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a town notable for street signs that prohibit cursing but are too polite to say so -- thus no *!$*ing. His family was religious. While his peers in music were out boosting cars, he was employed in a far more traditional manner: working at McDonald's.

His musical career began in a similarly unrebellious fashion, when his grandmother urged him to take band in the seventh grade. "I played in the Fabulous Marching Cavaliers," he says. "But it taught me to read music and get disciplined."

It also allowed him to hook up with Chad Hugo, the Filipino-American who forms the other half of the red-hot producing duo the Neptunes. Their willingness to break down musical borders was a vital factor behind their success, enabling them to have massive hits with Mystikal's "Shake Ya Ass" and Noreaga's "Superthug." However, the fact that they also lent hip-hop credibility to bubblegum artists such as Spears and 'NSync drew criticism from some self-appointed guardians of black culture, especially after it was revealed that some of Justin Timberlake's Justified tracks had originally been written for Michael Jackson. Williams can't see any point to the beef: "Sure, most of it was done for Michael, but who says Justin can't do songs like that because he's white?"

This air of good will is clearly not limited to issues of race. N.E.R.D.'s only gig in London takes place at the Astoria, a famously gay venue that reeks of testosterone, stale cum and amyl nitrate. Certainly it's hard to imagine other rap acts who would agree to clear the stage by eleven so "Leather and Lube Night" can start on time. N.E.R.D.'s upcoming album is much more inspired by the History Channel and Carl Sagan's Cosmos than by any thug-life aesthetic. And Williams is famous for his abstinence, not excess. "I rarely drink," he says. "I never smoked anything in my life. But I have tasted weed -- weed brownies. . . . I've had four of them. I could see the music like nothing I ever saw before. But am I interested in it? No."

His main vices are cars, clothes and sex. The last is clearly a subject he dedicates a lot of attention to, because he even has a list of favorite tracks to accompany fellatio. Crucially, though, when he writes about blow jobs -- as in the song "Brain" -- he doesn't come across as a bragging sexist cretin. "I get away with it because it's not a degradation," says Williams. "I tell a woman how I love what she's doing and how smart she is.' "

Nor does he throw his cash around like so many newly rich musicians: "I don't dump suitcases of cash out of the window, but of course, I have prospects." True to form, his hotel room is a modest affair, and there are no overflowing shopping bags, plates of uneaten caviar or vases of unnecessary flowers. "I'm going to make $500 million -- that's my goal," he says. "Of that, I'll only keep $100 million, for my family."

He goes to answer the door and returns with an attractive brunette. She lounges on the bed, showing some skin. Jade Jagger. Then he expands on the theme. "As for gold and diamonds, I wear the bling, but it doesn't define me," he says. He nods in her direction, then sighs. "Luckily, I know who I am, so I don't need to buy any jets or gold toilets. You won't see my house on Cribs."

Watch N.E.R.D.'s "Lapdance," "Provider" and "Rockstar-Poser" music videos

(March 25, 2003)


Comments

Photo

More Photos

"Brain" surgeon


Advertisement


Advertisement

Advertisement