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Well Hung at Dawn

Maximo Park, Michelle Wie and Albert Pooholes!

JASON COHEN AND MICHAEL KRUGMANPosted Jul 20, 2005 12:00 AM

Ten reasons why Well Hung at Dawn loves Maximo Park:

1. Paul Smith's sheepish "Hello Cleveland" at the Grog Shop, like he knew full well the reference is an obligation every frontman has to meet.

2. His name's Paul Smith.

3. The fact that guitarist Duncan Lloyd is as anonymous as Bonehead, but ten times more essential. In other words, he's Russell Senior (we still say Pulp were never quite the same without him).

4. Smith's tangential paraphrase of a Go-Betweens's lyric -- and not from a well-known song.

5. Scissor kicks.

6. I am young and I am lost/You react to my riposte!

7. Keyboard player Lukas Wooler. Not only does he wail, he imitates the frontman when he isn't playing.

8. The way Smith reads from his little notebook during "Once, a Glimpse."

9. Best T-shirt of the year.

10. Did we mention scissor kicks?

On a less happy note, WHAD says RIP to Salvatore Lombino. As a memorial, we offer up this bit of deathless prose:

Carella's eyes were brown and they slanted downward, giving his face a slightly Oriental cast.

And speaking of prolific crime authors, how is it possible that James Lee Burke's new book is number twenty-five? Hell, Sue Grafton's only up to "R."

It occurs to us that we have yet to offer kudos and exaltations to the Best NYC Band of the Last Five Years, the indescribably delicious Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Believe the buzz -- they really are that damn good... Chew-ets Peanut Chews -- same great taste, only now less Jewish!

Continuing on the literary tip, we're officially sick and goddam tired of Jonathan Lethem's nostalgic metablather. Michael also grew up reading comic books in Brooklyn but you don't see him incoherently prattling on about it. Mostly.

Err, "Best Drama Series?" The Wire? Oh, never mind. They'll have to settle for a Peabody or something . . . We are, however, sorry to have missed Camryn Manheim's supporting turn in Elvis. Her portrayal of the King in the last year of his life is no doubt riveting.

So when are certain Ice Bats showing on The Real World, and which cast member do they get to bone? . . . Can we get some more NYPD Blue DVDs please? . . . After twelve episodes of Entourage we still can't believe the theme song isn't by a Jane's Addiction rip-off band. Meanwhile, we're sure "More Than Words" will be the highlight of Lollapalooza.

Sir Antony Sher is Primo! (btw, he dies at the end) . . . Y'know, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could be both better than the first movie and the best thing Tim Burton has made in eleven years, and it would still suck ass.

Something we noticed in the recent O'Connor coverage: Nelson told Card that Bush's "No. 1 goal should be getting a good jurist who won't be an activist judge" and that they would talk more once the president makes it back to Washington, said David DiMartino, the senator's spokesman. He then added, "Boy Howdy!" Senator Chuck Hagel's spokesman J. Kordosh could not be reached for comment.

Gordon Sumner is Jack Hues . . . Now that we're supposed to care about Digable Planets once again, WHAD is pleased to announce the reunion of our own supercalifragilistic hip-hop trio. Dust Mite, MC Dung Beetle and DJ Promo Pop are in the hizzzzzzzz-ouse, y'all!

Three things the Times got wrong: Whitewater. WMDs. And how fan-fucking-tastic Dave Foley was on every single moment of Newsradio. Oh, and not that they brought it up, but Tone Loc also did fine work.

How come more people don't crack up whenever Albert Pujols comes to bat?

Incidentally, there isn't an activist judge in the land that could make us apologize to Lisa Moorish . . .

Ironically, Of Montreal are not from Montreal. And the owners of the W Hotels give all their money to the Democrats!

"Pooholes!" Get it?

We bet there's a Maxim photo editor with a little clock at his desk counting down the hours to Michelle Wie's eighteenth birthday.

Tilly Bagshawe has arrived!

Starstruck: Greatest Movie Ever Made. We want we want we want . . . In other redheaded Australian comedy DVD news, we're sad to report that Young Einstein doesn't completely hold up . . . EZ Streets, on the other hand -- which is still showing now and then on Trio -- definitely does. Jason Gedrick is the Ted McGinley of shows that haven't jumped the shark (because they never get a chance to).

Radio One coming to Sirius would have been much better news if Lamacq was on all week and Peel was still alive. Can we hold out for 6 Music too?

And finally, help us out here-does anybody know how to pronounce the band name !!!?

E-mail Well Hung

[NOTE: The above are the opinions of Cohen and Krugman and not necessarily those of the editors of Rolling Stone, but we also enjoy the Maximo Park).]


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