How do we begin to sum up the dizzying week of showcases at Austin, Texas' South by Southwest music festival? We could either take another full week to reflect on every note, or you skim the top and compile a list of the moments that still resonate the loudest. We chose option B. So without further ado, here are our picks.

Best line to open a set: San Francisco singer-songwriter MARK EITZEL, Thursday, Texas Union Ballroom: "Hi, I'm Mark Eitzel, and all my songs are about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge."

Best line by a conference speaker: Keynote speaker STEVE EARLE's the-glass-is-half-full comment on the four industry-dominating mega-labels: "I like all my snakes in one basket where I can see them."

Best exposure: NASHVILLE PUSSY's dueling femme fatales, bassist COREY PARKS and guitarist RUYTER SAYS, who stripped while playing their Southern-fried punk rock at Saturday's launch party for Revolver Magazine.

Best proof that rock ain't dead: El Paso's At The Drive In, who combine all the best of young Eddie Vedder and Rage Against the Machine, without the annoying bits.

Best surprise: ROBERT BRADLEY'S BLACKWATER SURPRISE. A guy in the front row at Antone's had the biggest surprise when blind singer Bradley crooned a love song right at him. Guitar prodigy SHANNON CURFMAN was so moved she got onstage to sing backing vocals. Bradley also charmed attendants at the BMG party, explaining, "I'd like to thank all the folks from BMG and RCA, but you don't print your names in Braille, so I can't."

Best display of real Texas music: JIMMIE DALE GILMORE and JOE ELY's separate sets at the Rounder Records party Friday at the Broken Spoke. Gilmore's voice is out of this world, and Ely's band -- with ace guitarist DAVID GRISSOM back on board -- rocked the Casbah.

Busiest band: Sub Pop recording artists' BEACHWOOD SPARKS, who took their countryfied Byrds sounds to Emo's on Friday night and afternoon parties on Thursday and Saturday.

Worst venue: The Blind Pig, despite it's appealing name. The stage faces the wall -- not the crowd -- at this narrow Sixth Street watering hole. Despite not exactly seeing their audience eye to eye, sunny California popsters BABY LEMONADE shined on Thursday night.

Best voice: Seventy-five-year-old country legend RAY PRICE, who braved freezing (by Austin standards) temperatures Thursday night for an outdoor show at Waterloo Park, held his mike like a delicate tulip and sounded like buttah.

Best self-promotional plug: SHIVAREE singer AMBROSIA PARSLEY, after her band's spooky, old timey set Friday night at Pecan Ale House: "Thanks. Now go buy our damn record."

Best costume change: The defining moment of HANK WILLIAMS III set opening for Ray Price at the park, when the wind blew his big cowboy hat off to reveal a long, bitchin' ponytail.

Best song title: The aforementioned Hank III's "I Put the Dick Back in 'Dixie' and the Cunt back in 'Country.'"

Best band name (tie): I AM THE WORLD TRADE CENTER and VHS OR BETA

Best guitar from a reluctant guitar hero: Austin favorite (but current Seattle area resident) IAN MOORE, whose fretwork is even more impressive now that he's traded Texas blues for razor-sharp melodies.

Best, er, mandolin moment: Steve Earle riffing up a sweet, ringing storm on his intro to "Copperhead Road."

Geekiest rocker: Nebraskan singer-songwriter JOSH ROUSE, who writes a mean song despite looking like the kid from The Wonder Years dressed up like Buddy Holly.

Best MC5 clone: Detroit's the GO's guitarist, pulling off Fred "Sonic" Smith guitar riffs, and sporting the legends' trademark messy Beatle bob.

Best Stooges clone: The VUE's guitarist REX SHELVERTON singing half of the band's songs writhing around on the floor in front of the stage. It's Iggy without the blood and peanut butter.

Best Patti Smith clone: PATTI SMITH, spitting, kicking over mike stands and dancing on tables at the Austin City Limits sound stage on Wednesday night.

Best offspring rock: MARTHA WAINWRIGHT, from the same family tree that brought us Rufus Wainwright and Loudon Wainwright, showing her talent and B-52 bouffant hairdo at Maggie Mae's East. Also of note: BUKKA ALLEN, son of Texas underground songwriting legend Terry Allen. Bukka's forte is haunting, Leonard Cohen-like dirges about angels and lost souls with soaring melodies that fly loops around, say, Billy Corgan.

Best use of fire: NEBULA drummer RUBEN ROMAN set fire to a torch ball when the band played Emo's and used the flaming stick to bang a huge gong behind his drum kit, filling the room with clouds of smoke as flames shot threw the air, causing fans to ooh, aah and run for their lives.

Best show we missed but wish we hadn't: ROGER McGUINN performing BYRDS songs with the JAYHAWKS at the Sony party Thursday.

Worst SXSW tradition: The rainstorm on Thursday. Last year, it rained out WILLIE NELSON. This year it scared away hundreds of Ray Price fans. That ain't cool, Austin...cut it out.

Best foul-weather friend: Old school MC DOUG E. FRESH, who had the Stubb's crowd singing and dancing in the rain on Saturday night.

Least soggy performance, despite the torrential rains: Former Posies' guitarist KEN STRINGFELLOW's new band SALTINE, which delivered haunting rock with edge at Park Avenue Friday night. Spotted in the crowd: R.E.M.'s MIKE MILLS and Patti Smith guitarist/Nuggets mastermind LENNY KAYE.

Best alias: METALLICA's LARS ULRICH, who checked into the Four Seasons Hotel under the name "Sam Spade."

Best celebrity spotting: NEIL YOUNG at Jimmie Dale Gilmore's gig. Runner up: ZZ Top's BILLY GIBBONS in the audience at Stubb's ogling at Nashville Pussy's assets.

Best celebrity to follow to a great show: Lenny Kaye, spotted grooving to Ray Price and Steve Earle Thursday night. "Total heart," he enthused of the latter. 'Nuff said.

BILL CRANDALL, RICHARD SKANSE, JAAN UHELSZKI
(March 21, 2000)