Review 1 of 25

hotschizodiscocop writes:

Not Rated

Attention whore chic: hard to pull off post 50
by Cédric Van der Hauwaert (cvanderhauwaert@gmail.com)

Madonna's reinventions have always fascinated me in a positive manner – from the DIY wardrobe post-disco starlet to the whip-carrying S & M dominatrix of the infamous Shep-Pettibone-produced Erotica album (which was universally panned by critics) and Sex book – causing a huge backlash with her vast legions of teenage girl fans – and from the sun-saluting Kabbalist of Ray of Light lure back to the infectious simplicity of seventies hedonism on Confessions.

Nowadays, Madonna has unfortunately gone from clever chameleon to retrograde recycled trash and it's no pretty sight – a 50 plus mother who, in a desperate attempt to be hip and contemporary – has to resort to lip wrestling with twenty-something pop queens who themselves are struggling to make a lasting impression on today's attention-deficient MySpace/Youtube generation (and to stay sober of course!).

Her new album offers nothing new and where in the past Madonna mastered a magic wand that miraculously took the focus away from her weak vocal reach and that made lack of identity a highly marketable and profitable defect, she now comes across as a needy high-class hooker soliciting not wealthy realtors and business leaders on Santa Monica Blvd. but a growingly fickle consumer market bombarded day and night with multimedia.

For this ousting, she teamed up with some of today's most bankable MTV front-runners – the first single is a collaboration with Justin Timberlake who himself offers no more than a merely mediocre interpretation of 80s legends Michael Jackson and Prince.

Madonna always perfectly summed up the zeitgeist – portraying every fad from rampant and unapologetic coarse materialism and consumer-society-driven faux feminism in the Reagan eighties to Hollywood (post-rehab) spiritualism at the turn of the millennium. Like an empty vessel, she soaks up a given era's mood and injects a zest of Madonnaism into a mosaic of lifestyles and attitudes; she excels at imitation (flawlessly pulling of every female stereotype from the Monroe of Gentleman prefer Blondes to the Dietrich of the golden age of cabaret). Unfortunately, today's landscape of popular culture is an all too barren one and the desperation-fueled attempts of a multiple-decade icon at clinging on to her divine status as trend setter don't mesh well with the soundtrack of 2008 – a post-modern amalgamation high on technology yet devoid of any creativity; a music scene feasting on revival, endlessly chucking seventies disco melodies down the electro blender, adding rap to catchy melodies of the past and relying on cover versions of the great music that was once created. Thus, Madonna delivers a slick and perfectly produced electro pop album with no soul whatsoever. And while Britney's personal trauma spices up the manufactured beats on Blackout, Madonna's dull life of horseback riding, mothering and trying to nail a British accent fails to sex up her record.

Jul 16, 2008 04:40:39

Review 2 of 25

megan6975 writes:

1of 5 Stars

I like Madonna, although this has been her worst album by far. The only good song on the whole album is 4 minutes with Justin Timberlake. The pictures aren't very flattering, either.

Jun 22, 2008 04:34:15

Review 3 of 25

direstraits29 writes:

5of 5 Stars

its a very good album. the 4 minutes track is awesome and my best song is MILES AWAY.
when is a video coming out for Miles Away??
Modonna is amazing and her concerts are worth every penny. yes some people may not like her music...they have a closed mind..this is a good dance album and she hasnt disappointed. madonna rocks!

Jun 14, 2008 00:27:28

Review 4 of 25

PALY writes:

4of 5 Stars

I dont understand why people right negative stuff about this album the truth is its not her greatest but its a cool album as someone said in other review this album makes me happy and i think theres a lot of madonna in there and its great its a happy album not a deep album.

Jun 11, 2008 01:40:32

Review 5 of 25

Born1984 writes:

1of 5 Stars

Madonna has lost her magic, Hardy Candy is her most uninspired album to date. It seems as if she was just making an album for making an album. She hooks up with JT and all the biggest Hip Hop stars to win the U.S market, making something marketable but dull.
1. "Candy Shop". 3/10.Embarrasing song. Is this how a 50 year old shows her sexual maturity, by chanting lyrics as a 16 year old skank. Older woman can be sexy, specially when they transmit their maturity, think Kylie's "x", Goldfrapp " Supernatural", Bjork " Vesperstine, 3 albums about sex that are smart and original. What ever happend to the woman who made "Erotica"? Talking about sex albums.
2. "4 Minutes". 5/10.Madonna pimping JT. Gross. Madonna should be singing with Prince or even Kylie, someone equally great as her. Using the most popular youngster and producer of the moment, is an easy trick for a woman known for her innovative choices, think William Orbit or Mirwaiz.
3. "Give It To Me". 7/10. Although a little bit over produced, this is the only song that gets closer to Madonna's usual goodness. The "get stupid" part is a little bit painfull, plus Gwen Stefani did this kind of stuff.
4, "Heartbeat" 2/10. Terrible and unispired lyrics. "See my booty get down" Madonna chants. Great!
5. "Miles Away" 6/10. Similar to ballads such as "I Deserve It" or "Love Profusion", although the mediocre lyrics and monotonous production make it sink.
6. "She is not me" 3/10. Bad Lyrics, cheesy production. "She is not me, She doesn't have my name" , Duh.
7. "Incredidle" 4/10. " Just one of those things,When everything goes incredible, and all is beautiful" she sings. Is Rocco writing her lyrics?
8. " Beat Goes On" 5/10. Although unoriginal, its almost decent. The Kenya West cameo kind of kills it. Again Madonna trying too hard.
9. "Dance 2night" 5/10. Almost good. I kind of like the "You don't have to be rich and famous to be good" part but the rest is just moronic sexual inuendo between Madge and JT.
10. "Spanish Lesson". 1/10. We all know this sucks.
11. "Devil...." 2/10. So overproduced it almost explodes and not in a good way.
12. "Voices" 2/10. This sort of sounds like Michael Jackson " Dangerous" album, but in all the wrong places. This 90's retro song has almost acceptable lyrics but its so overstuffed that it becomes unlistenable.
If you are looking a good pop album for the summer go and get Kylie "X" or Robyn " Robyn". This album is utter crap, I wonder if Madonna even likes this?. I really hope Madonna redeems herself, her next album better be good.

Jun 8, 2008 00:34:42

Review 6 of 25

goheidigo writes:

2of 5 Stars

I'm a Madge lifer and proud of it. I'm all about her evolutions and applaude it, except when it doesn't work and show her to be her truly amazing self. Overproduced, thin vocals and cheap art direction. Last 2 tracks do have some resemblence of her exception abilities. Please rethink your collaborators and advisers. They aren't doing you any favors. Don't forget about us, Madonna, unless you don't need us anymore.

May 25, 2008 11:47:41

Review 7 of 25

sidbinks writes:

5of 5 Stars

What a great album. To many of the detractors, may i remind you this is a POP album and Madonna is a POP artist, if you don't like pop why would you listent to it and review it? Madonna returns to her roots - fun, dance and it is terrific. The album hangs together well despite multiple contributors. It strikes me as particularly more melodic. Many songs have a great hook. This album gives me a good feeling and i love listening to it. That is what a pop album is supposed to do and it does it hands down.

May 24, 2008 21:00:46

Review 8 of 25

remarkable88 writes:

5of 5 Stars

Madonna does it again. The Goddess of Re-Invention has added another genre notch to her musical bedpost, and in doing so she only adds to an already impressive body of work. The entire album is one good song. I cannot pick a favorite because they are all so damn good. Happiness can be found in the lyrics of a Madonna song, and she does not get nearly enough acknowledgement for her work as a songwriter. Whether it is the sly smile you have to crack at "My sugar is RAW" in Candy Shop or the knowing grin that crosses your face when you equate "the best thing that happened to" your somebody in Miles Away. She offers up some of her strongest calls to the dance floor with Heartbeat, Beat Goes On, and Dance 2night. Kudos for the return of the Queen of Innuendo on Give It To Me, Incredible, and She's Not Me. Timbaland and Justin laid down some phat tracks , and Justin's guest vocals only add to the pleasure. Pharrell Williams goes off on his tracks, and, yes, Mr. West, we get that. Madonna always chooses wisely when she picks partners, and praise everything holy they all said yes when she asked them to work with her because you know they all jumped at the chance. And who wouldn't? She is the MA*DO*NNA! My ears are going to rot because I cannot get enough of this EAR candy. Mistress, may I have some more, please?

May 13, 2008 18:08:40