Being a rock star gets you plenty of nice perks -- free booze, free love, the right to run around shouting "free Mumia" every five minutes without getting smacked in the head by an annoyed co-worker. We never thought we'd count free rides on fire trucks among such prized privileges, but the members of Lit have raised the bar for future generations by joining in on, and documenting, a raucous party at a New Jersey firehouse. The band posted pictures and descriptions of the shindig, replete with topless babes and shooting fire extinguishers (talk about symbolism!) on its Web site. We hope the fact that three of the firefighters who brought the band to the party on a fire truck with sirens wailing were suspended from the force in Iselin, New Jersey, doesn't put a stop to this new trend before some lucky rocker gets to pistol-whip a suspect while on patrol with some L.A. cops . . .

It's always nice to see chart-topping musicians take an interest in the doings of their loved ones, which is why it warmed our heart to hear that Korn bassist Fieldy recently gave a boost to little sister Mandi's acting career. The aspiring thespian, it seems, needed a quiet, out-of-the-way place to work on her craft, so in the spirit of brotherly love her bass-toting brother donated his apartment so that Mandi could work in peace. Fieldy's contribution clearly paid off, since lil' sis is getting some serious attention for her work, which is on display in the "Girls Next Door" section of a porn site called iVolt. Kinda puts that "Family Values" concept in perspective, eh? . . .

The disco divas in the Prodigy may be getting older, but that doesn't mean they have to grow up, as they prove on a new single that sings the praises of Rohypnol. Continuing in the proud (for lack of a better word) tradition of "Smack My Bitch Up," Keith Flint uses "Baby's Got a Temper" to salute the use of the so-called "date rape" drug, conveniently giving us the chance to note that a real man wouldn't need such accessories to improve his love life . . .

Proving that his taste in women is every bit as strange as his diction, Joe Cocker told a German newspaper that the very first piece of eye candy he ever hung on his bedroom wall was a photo of Queen Elizabeth. Cocker told Cologne's Express that "it's no joke, she was my first pin-up girl," but went on to admit that he held no prurient fantasies about old Liz, but merely wanted to show respect for her by keeping the picture on display. We tried to say the same thing about that Pam Anderson centerfold, but the girlfriend didn't buy it.

DAVID SPRAGUE
(May 17, 2002)