Kelly Willis is to be forgiven a certain amount of professional bitterness. After all, the last time she had a new album on the shelves was in 1993. Her last label deal fell apart two years ago with nothing to show for her troubles but a four-song EP released only in Texas. And for an artist with three critically lauded albums behind her and a reputation as one of the best female voices in Texas, her total sales sure are a long ways from the half million mark. Jaded? You bet.

Or maybe not. If any of these things genuinely trouble the thirty-two-year-old singer/songwriter, she hides it remarkably well. At the moment, Willis seems to be a model of optimism. Her new label, Rykodisc, has just released What I Deserve, her first album in six years, and the reviews thus far have been encouraging. But most importantly, she finally feels the freedom to pursue her own artistic vision. The title track of the new album, which she co-wrote with Gary Louris of the Jayhawks, seems to sum up perfectly where Willis has been and where she stands now: "Well I have done/The best I can/Oh but what I've done/It's not who I am/And oh what I deserve ..."

"I was only twenty years old when I got my first deal with MCA, and I just hadn't really developed yet," Willis explains in a phone call from her adopted hometown of Austin. "I was young, but I wanted to be like Nanci Griffith, or Steve Earle or Emmylou -- that's how I wanted to develop. I didn't think I was that talented at the time, but that's where I wanted to go. [MCA] tried to compromise with me, but they just really wanted me to look good and sell music. So it was a struggle, and being so young and not sure of myself, I always felt bad when I disagreed."

When MCA dropped her after three albums failed to register on country radio, Willis set about reinventing herself. She turned her attention to writing her own songs, a luxury she had scarce time for while caught up in the country music star-making circus. Fading Fast, a promo-only EP released in 1996 on her new label, A&M, found her collaborating with alt-country forerunners Louris, Son Volt and 16 Horsepower, and hinted at the more rock-oriented, stylized arrangements which characterize What I Deserve. But before she really got started on the album, the A&M deal fell apart when her trusted A&R rep was fired and Willis asked to be released. "I had a really strong feeling that if I stayed there I would end up with a person who either didn't get me or who really felt like I would have to change what I was doing. I had already been in a record deal like that, and that's not what I was up for. And I thought it would be really easy to get another deal, but no ...(laughs). I had a horrible time, and ended up having to make [the album] myself."

After finishing the album in December of 1997, Willis began shopping the finished project to a handful of labels. "Ryko was the most enthusiastic, and loved the album exactly the way it was," she says. "At a label like Rykodisc, the pressure is just to make a really good creative record that contributes to the musical community at large, whereas at MCA it was to make a record that would sell a lot."

If Willis is clearly happier with her new label situation, however, she's not about to look back in anger on her MCA years. "It was a great learning experience, and I had a wonderful time as well," she says. "I got to work with really talented people, and created a career that has carried me through to this record. So it was a chance of a lifetime. It wasn't all bad."

Likewise, even though Ryko will be marketing What I Deserve primarily to American and Triple A markets, Willis has by no means abandoned her country roots. "I don't think they're going to try for the full-on country chart, but that's where I made my audience, and I think it would be silly for me to ignore it because I really love country music and I think there is a strong country feel to this record. I guess I'm just one of those cursed people that doesn't fit in really well anywhere, but it's not impossible."

As for the bottom line, Willis says she'd love to see the new album hit the 100,000 sales mark, which would be a modest improvement from the 60,000 or so she averaged on her last three. "I don't think that's really unrealistic to hope for, but it's not going to kill me if it doesn't," she says. Hopefully, Ryko will prove just as flexible. "I can handle losing a deal, but I feel that Rykodisc would not be freaked out ... I think they would be into making another record or two.

"I feel confident about that at this point anyway," she adds, laughing quietly. "Talk to me in about a year, and I'll let you know."

RICHARD SKANSE
(February 24, 1999)