As a festival, V2001 does not rock. If it did, Liverpool's Atomic Kitten would not have gotten away with dodging only a handful of fruit during their set; the girl group would have been smothered in it.

Instead, at this festival of status quo, the trio -- who are idolized by pre-teens across the U.K. for their mall-bound fashion sense, bare bellies and dye jobs -- convinced an entire crowd of adults (including one dressed as a gorilla) that their particular uninspiring brand of disposable pop had merit. The representatives from British indie rockdom, Idlewild and the inconspicuous Alfie, weren't much better.

Despite the considerable hype surrounding them, press darlings Starsailor -- or the Verve's little brother, as they might as well be called -- did not manage to turn the tide. The Wigan, U.K. outfit did charm, however, with a beguiling mix of big ballads and moody harmonies that will help them go far, as they have for David Gray, who drew the biggest turn-out on Saturday at the festival's Weston Park, Staffordshire site. Gray took his folk-based blend of songs and stirred some life into the stale pot, setting it up nicely for Dave Grohl and company's near headline set.

A well-needed kick up the backside was provided the moment the Foo Fighters took the stage to "This Is a Call." Hundreds of cups brimming with beer were sacrificed across the top of the crowd and a swarming mosh pit burst open as mayhem ensued. "I know that it's difficult cause we're the most kick-ass rock band in the world," Grohl said pleading for crowd control. Throughout their set, which consisted mainly of greatest hits, the frontman directed his outfit to slow its songs, pausing to ensure the safety of the festival patrons, a theme picked up on by Anthony Kiedis when the Red Hot Chili Peppers closed the event's first day. The newly moustached frontman made attempts in-between rusty versions of "Californication" and "Give It Away" to implore fans to look after each other.

Such please weren't necessary on Sunday with the rock & roll lite lineup. U.S. hip-hop outfit Spooks, well known in the U.K. thanks to their hit "Karma Hotel," were so mildly received, one of their motley crew of MCs begged the muddy crowd for more energy. "Y'all not getting' crazy enough for me," he said. "'Cause this is hip-hop."

Yeah, hip-hop without the phat, as that was already taken by Nelly Furtado. The pint-sized Canadian songstress, still building her U.K. profile, frolicked about the stage and wooed the crowd with her eclectic rhythms and booming voice.

A rotating cast of vocalists fronting chill-out act and Mercury Music Prize nominees, Zero 7, had a similar effect. The soothing ensemble passed the festival on to its final evening offering up stunningly beautiful, breathless melodies from their debut, Simple Things, which was produced by their longtime college friend, Nigel Godrich who also happens to be Radiohead's producer.

And though that Oxford outfit was not on the bill, Coldplay took care of the morose melody factor. Only last year the quartet was warming up for others on a side stage at this same festival, but this year -- thanks to the success of their Brit Award winning effort Parachutes -- they graduated and performed their nice, moody melodies to a welcoming audience.

Perennial festival favorites the Charlatans U.K. kept things moving happily when taking over. The outfit performed a set of feel-good tunes and managed to sneak in new ones, including "You're So Pretty, We're So Pretty" and "Love Is the Key." Despite the freshness of the material, the band still kept people dancing, as did Australian pop tart Kylie Minogue, who closed the event down.

In the late Eighties success alluded her in America when she pranced one-hit-wonder-style in front of a camera shaking bouncy, blonde curls to her cover of "Locomotion." In Britain, her career took a different turn. Throughout the years she transformed herself into a sex symbol, a drag queen icon and an all-around shining pop star. Bringing the festival to an end, she camped-up a performance of greatest hits and new ones that show that America may have been wrong to choose Tiffany as its teen dream all those years ago.

JOLIE LASH
(August 20, 2001)